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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the gay midget? He came outta the cupboard ."

"I used to be a door to door vacuum salesman... That shit sucked."

"Me: Can I have a quickie? Waitress: Sir, it's pronounced ""quiche""."

"You guys hear about that new broom that came out? It's sweeping the nation!"

"What does a teenage southern girl say while having sex? Get off me Daddy! You're crushing my cigarettes!"

"I left a godless morning fart in each of the kids' lunchboxes so they'll know I was thinking about them."

"In INTERSTELLAR, why does Tom's voice get higher when he's older? Answer: thedust"

"Playing the long game. some months back I planted lettuce in my garden. yesterday I was making dinner and asked my girlfriend to go pick some lettuce. she said ""why?"" I said ""just Cos"" ba dum tisssssh"

"Me: Daughters, dude. Driving me crazy, you know? Him: Yeah. Me: Want another juice box, bro? Him: Yeah. 3 year-old neighbor boy gets me."

"What do you call gonorrhea that takes a long time to show up? Slow clap."