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Joke of the Day

"Playing the long game. some months back I planted lettuce in my garden. yesterday I was making dinner and asked my girlfriend to go pick some lettuce. she said ""why?"" I said ""just Cos"" ba dum tisssssh"

Next Joke
 
"She invited me over for a romantic dinner and told me I was the dessert. I wanted ice cream."
"So I met a girl named Tennessee I said to her, ""You're a ten, I see!"" And that's how I blew it with the hottest girl in the world."
"Why did the hipster burn his mouth? Because he drank his coffee before it was cool."
"How are a sword maker and the Fresh Prince of Bel Air alike? They're both black smiths"
"How do mathematicians count x-men? Permutations."
"I think I'll design something cool, get a bunch of people to like it, and then make it steadily worse with every update. Oops, been done."
"Why do we carve pumpkins for Halloween? Because they're less bloody."
"Why doesn't Oedipus curse? Because he kisses his mother with that mouth"
"Why did 10 die? Cuz he was in the middle of 9/11"