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Joke of the Day

"I could never be an actress because I don't want kids and would never be able to say ""but my favorite role is being a mom"" at award shows."

"Ladies, try carrying a sausage and 2 apricots in your pocket for a day without them moving and you'll see why we need to readjust ourselves."

"Research shows your medication is 879% more effective if you drink a 6 pack and a bottle of wine first. Also, I changed my name to Research."

"Told by a 5 year old boy live on local radio: Why did Mr humpty dumpy push Mrs humpty dumpy off the wall? .....So he could see her crack...."

"What do you call jokes about bread? buns"

"What was the Russian mohel's name? Borris Kutchyakockoff"

"I couldn't figure out what happens when you mix water and salt... But then I found the solution."

"Why did the farmer's bucket keep singing songs? Because it was haulin' oats."

"Apparently there's this guy who steals people's poops and ties them together.. I shit you knot."

"No one lies on the Internet They told me my computer had a virus, and asked if I wanted to do a FREE security check. Sure enough, my computer had a virus. How nice of them to tell me."