200700

Joke of the Day

"Apparently there's this guy who steals people's poops and ties them together.. I shit you knot."

"So I got a text from a guy. He said he lives across the street and would like to get to know me. I answered that I live in front of a cemetery and those kind of acquaintances scare the shit out of me."

"What's a jew doing on a swing? Fucking with the german snipers"

"Have you seen the new recycling center around here? No? But you're already in /r/jokes"

"How do you stop a bull from charging? Take away his credit card."

"He is on that bird call website a lot. - My Mom describing me on twitter to older relatives at get-togethers."

"Never trust an Adam... ...because they make up everything."

"What do Bristol Palin and the Virgin Mary have in common?"

"What version of windows does Jesus use? XP Edit: [Explanation](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chi_Rho)"

"What did Napoleon have up his sleevies? His armies!"