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Joke of the Day

"Life is a garden... Sometimes you have to put a hand on a hoe."

"Q: What happens to an air conditioner when you pull its plug? A: It loses its cool."

"I complimented my chemistry professor, who's from Germany, ""Sir, you're so effervescent."" He replied, ""Did you effer see me when I effer vasn't?"""

"Can somebody help me debug Malaysian Flight Simulator? It keeps crashing unexpectedly :/"

"Someone stole my copy of Microsoft Word. Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Word, I'll track you down. You have my Word. EDIT: I saw this on /r/puns and reposted it here. I Excel at reposting."

"If we are talking and I reach up and slowly turn my bear suit head around backward, our conversation is over."

"Did you hear about the infection who made a Youtube video? He went viral..."

"Joke: What does it imply when a tick is found on a vagina? That you may have to pull out. Just wanted to ask whether this is a keeper."

"*returns tent to Target* CASHIER: What was the problem? ME: The packing implied that there would be a family that loves me inside the tent"

"Apparently Pistorius wanted a new bathroom door, but his girlfriend was dead against it."