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Joke of the Day

"Nice jeans, everyone in the 90s."

"Hate the political process, not the politicians. Nah, who the f*#k am I kidding? Hate those politicians!"

"""Holy shit, amazing!!!"" -Asian guy using fork for the first time"

"Feeling strange Mr. Bond? It's because I laced your Martini with a vaccine for Measles You now have Autism!"

"What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt"

"Cop: Know why I stopped you? SUPER DANCE OFF?? Cop: OH YEAH OH YEAH? Cop: No, not really. There's a warrant for your arrest. oh no"

"Last semester I had an English teacher names Mrs. Gaye She was a huge homophone."

"What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste."

"What do you call 5 black guys on a stage? An auction"

"*puts arm around you* You've been burned before but, you're safe with me. Let your gaurd down, girl. *steals your pizza*"