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Joke of the Day

"ROBOT: You cannot defeat us ENGLISH TEACHER: Why's the ch pronounced differently in orchid than in orchard? ROBOT: [twitch, spark]"

"Why did the ocean take a bath? It had a sandy bottom."

"Life in 1914-1945 Europe must have been hard. All those geopolitical events and no TV shows to compare them to"

"<---- Wonders if aliens just call their ride a FO instead of UFO."

"How do you titilate an ocelot? You oscillate its tit a lot."

"When is there two Ds in ""her?"" http://imgur.com/Rmc4pha"

"A man recently felt funny and came over queasy... At which point he was asked to leave the local amateur production of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves."

"I found my wheelie bin in the middle of the street this morning. If I hadn't brought it back in, it could have wheelie bin dangerous."

"If my balls come out on the lottery tonight... my career as a TV presenter will be in ruins."

"What's the difference between wild Iranian Ossetra caviar and my penis? One is a delicacy (Deh-Lih-Cuh-See) and the other is a delicady (Deh-Lih-Cuh-Dee) Edit: The D"