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Joke of the Day

"Refrigerator ice dispensers are perfect for those times when you need either zero or 5000 ice cubes."

"If I were God, I'd totally be cool with you using my name in vain. Feel free to say, ""Oh John"" next time you're cumming ladies."

"Mother: Did you get a good place in the geography test? Fred: Yes Mum I sat next to the cleverest kid in the class."

"What is a ducks drug of choice? Quack."

"Grim Reaper: I'm here for the sole! Waiter: *whimpering* omg can I... can I say bye to my family? Grim Reaper: uh, no, the fish special."

"Did you hear about the gay midget? He came outta the cupboard ."

"What does a beggar and a PHP programmer have in common? They both work on crowded platforms."

"When is a door, not a door? ... when it's ajar."

"Let's all smash our hands together repeatedly to indicate that we enjoyed that thing."

"Single men everywhere strain to make one major change this new year... their bed sheets."