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Joke of the Day

"What does a beggar and a PHP programmer have in common? They both work on crowded platforms."

"Anybody ever get paid to smuggle drugs in their butt? ... Cause it sounds like a dope ass job."

"Two Scotsmen walk past a baker One turns to the other and says 'Is that a cake or a meringue?' The other replies 'no you're right, it's a cake'"

"Last night my girlfriend fell asleep before me, so I decided to lick her pussy until she woke up. This morning she asked why the cat seemed afraid of me."

"I'm not saying my ex is crazy,but The only way to take her picture, is with a Bi-Polaroid"

"I've been wondering, If poison goes out of date and expires, does it become more or less deadly?"

"Why do Jews have big noses? Why not? Air is free anyway!"

"Can you identify yourself Police officer: ""Can you identify yourself, sir?"" Driver pulls out his mirror and says: ""Yes, it's me."""

"I named my hard drive ""dat ass"" so once a month my computer asks if I want to 'back dat ass up'."

"There was an inflation joke on reddit once It blew up"