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Joke of the Day
"[OC] What did the disgruntled barber give to the prince? A bad heir day."
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"How do you confuse Hellen Keller? Give her a basketball and tell her to read it."
"I wish there was a way to keep in touch with dogs I meet outside of grocery stores."
"Why did the college student change his major from Biology to Physics after his first exam? He needed to see if how fast his grade dropped broke any laws of physics."
"Fortune teller told me that I will be fucked by a beautiful lady today, and damn he was right a pretty mail lady just handed me over an audit letter from IRS."
"H: I don't understand what goes on in your head. Me: If you prefer, I can quit twitter and just tell you all of this. H: No, we're good."
"There's been and explosion is a French cheese factory... All that's left is de brie!"
"Why Was Tigger looking in the toilet?? ... He was looking for Pooh!"
"I don't play golf because any game that includes strokes and handicaps just doesn't sound like my kind of fun."
"Probably the third-best reason to have kids is if you think it's funny when other people trip."