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Joke of the Day

"There's been and explosion is a French cheese factory... All that's left is de brie!"

"I'd be a more productive writer if the machine I use 2 write wasn't also the machine I use 2 find pics of celebrity nipples."

"Did you here about the women who died after masturbating with a carrot? That was a dildon't"

"My girlfriend's dad asked me what I do... Apparently ""your daughter"" wasn't the right answer."

"What does a Satanist take when their allergies to Christians act up? Anti*Christ*amine's"

"hello, this is the co-pilot speaking. the captain can't talk cause we both said ""hope we don't die haha"" at the same time and i jinxed him"

"The best way to get the woman of your dreams is to comment ""gorgeous"" on a minimum of 52 of her selfies."

"How do you make Holy Water? Boil the Hell out of it!"

"I'm going as ""Twitter Elite"" for Halloween. I'm going to randomly say unfunny things and not talk to anyone who speaks to me."

"How do generals show their gratitude to their troops? They give tanks."