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Joke of the Day

"what's food backwards? vomit"

"Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: They should both be changed regularly, because they're full of shit."

"How many DUIs does Tony Hawk have that he has to ride everywhere on a skateboard?"

"It's not a relationship until you argue about whose turn it is to apologize."

"Got to admire these NFL players who are so committed to their jobs of beating the shit out of people that they do it even in their off time."

"PSA: Brazilian officials have assured that they've taken measures to lower the chances of being murder there during the Olympic games to be... Juan/Brazilian."

"How does a man show he's planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one."

"Some people say waking up in the morning is really hard... Waking up in the morning is the second hardest thing for me!"

"By the time they were my age my parents had two kids and a house, whereas I have joy."

"Before sending a tweet l always test it on my wife first. If she rolls her eyes and leaves the room, l know it has potential."