199313

Joke of the Day

"It's not a relationship until you argue about whose turn it is to apologize."

"I love how people say they're ""expecting"" a baby, as though it might be something else, like a penguin."

"Why shouldn't anybody help cats down a tree? Because they're stuck up"

"New to reddit My friend David forgot his I.D so now we just call him dav"

"Saw a homeless guy at McDonald's begging for money, told him I'd buy him something to eat. He said no thanks, getting money for Taco Bell."

"Its ironic that the gay club was called ""pulse""... As 50 people didn't have one after the shooting"

"The man who invented the dildo sadly passed away. His funeral went just as expected. Only women came."

"Don't look out of the window Betty people will think it's Halloween."

"Palin: I'm seriously considering a presidential run. Reporter: Do you even know what the word seriously means? Palin: Don't refudiate me."

"What is Harry Potter's philosophy on relationships... Hit it and quidditch."