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Joke of the Day

"After having three children I started having trouble remembering their names... So I just called them Eenie, Meanie, and Moiney. I didn't want any Mo."

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"What does a Pirate say on his Eightieth birthday? AYE MATEY!"
"Why did the cowboy get a wiener dog? Cause he wanted to get along little doggie."
"What does a virgin woman and a shotgun have In common? One cock and they're ready to burst. EDIT: grammar, thanks /u/J7T12"
"Two fish are in a tank. After a while one of them asks the other ""How do you drive this thing?"""
"Why did the male koala invite the female koala over to his bamboo. He wanted to have a treesome."
"""wat can i say.. im a people person"" said the man who was MADE OUT OF PEOPLE"
"How many french men does it take to conquer Paris? No one knows, it's never been done."
"""You're prettier than I remember, you were SO FAT the last time I saw you!"" TY Uncle Bob, I was 8months pregnant. *spits in his pumpkin pie"
"What do you do if an epileptic has a seizure in your bath? Throw your laundry in!"