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Joke of the Day

"After having three children I started having trouble remembering their names... So I just called them Eenie, Meanie, and Moiney. I didn't want any Mo."

"Why do you hate a nosey pepper? Cuz he's jalapeno .business"

"Me: Oh my god, that cat is adorable! She's the cutest kitty I've ever seen! Cat: I just want to be friends."

"Bought an elephant for my friends So I bought my friends an elephant for their room. They said ""Thank you."" I said ""Don't mention it."""

"My parents told me not to listen to my iPod too loud... It was sound advice."

"All of the countries in the world run a race. Who wins? Finland. He's the first to Finnish."

"How do you keep an asshole in suspense?"

"Arguing with guy at the bar and he claimed Wikipedia was an unreliable source, suggesting instead that I listen to him, a drunk guy at a bar"

"A knock sounds at a nerd's door... *Knock knock!* ""Who's there?"" ""You know!"" ""You know who?"" ""Exactly. AVADA KEDAVRA!!!!!"""

"What Did the Janitor Say When He Jumped Out of the Closet? ""Supplies!"" I'll see myself out"