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Joke of the Day

"What does a virgin woman and a shotgun have In common? One cock and they're ready to burst. EDIT: grammar, thanks /u/J7T12"

"Why don't ghosts like rainy days? Because it dampens their souls!!!!"

"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."

"""I'm in the best shape of my life!"" -Newborn baby"

"What's the best thing about being the 'third-wheel' for your friends in relationships? Nothing. It always fucking sucks."

"So I found out today I have Alzheimer's..."

"I told you to act natural while I paint. Why are you guys all sitting on the same side of the table? - DaVinci"

"I'm voting for Trump... I've never seen a president assassinated."

"What did the grapes say to their parents after they put them into a nursing home? Thanks for raisin us"

"Natural Rights - opposite of natural lefts"