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Joke of the Day

"Wow. Those Spaniards are some die hard Ozzy fans.. ..cause they really went off the rails on a crazy train."

"I help morning mall walkers get their blood flowing by chasing them down with a chainsaw."

"What did the deaf, blind, crippled kid get for Christmas? Cancer."

"your grandma has a pic of you in her house when you were in junior high and not at any other age"

"In exchange for eternal youth, Amanda promised a witch her firstborn child. Amanda's a lesbian."

"You can't run through a campground... ...you can only ran, because it's passed tents."

"I went on a date with a girl in a wheelchair... I stood her up, and thats when she fell for me, now were on a roll, I just have to figure out how to ramp it up in the bedroom."

"If Christians made a movie about church attendance, what would they call it? Exodus"

"If u had Hitler & a guy who doesnt mute the keyboard on his iPhone in a room & could only kill one, would u give Hitler the dead guys phone?"

"""What's that?"" - My new boss. He's very deciduous"" ""Decisive?"" - Nope. I carved him from a potted tree. *squirrel peeks out of his mouth*"