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Joke of the Day

"I went on a date with a girl in a wheelchair... I stood her up, and thats when she fell for me, now were on a roll, I just have to figure out how to ramp it up in the bedroom."

"When is a door not a door? When it's a jar!"

"What's a Jedi's favourite programming language? JabbaScript"

"Have you heard about the collapse of the boxer shorts industry? apparently it was quite brief."

"""Matt, you just need to date the type of person that will always be there for you!"" [tries to date pizza] [gets friend calzoned]"

"If ever I commit murder, I'm doing it with Indian flatbread. Naan violent crimes get shorter sentences in respect for their counterparts."

"Bert is walking with Albert through the park and says, ""I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith."" Albert says, ""What's the name of his other leg?"""

"I wonder how many people come visit our country and then immediately leave after trying a slice of American cheese."

"If Dumbledore did a 'Cribs' episode for Hogwarts, he'd be like ""and this is where the magic happens"" in every room."

"Nobody's perfect. I'm a nobody."