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Joke of the Day

"Can you get high off of viagra? Yes, but only if you lay on your stomach."

"Why would America make the bald eagle its national bird when all they do is attack things and fly away and nevermind I think I get it now."

"What Christmas Carol do they sing in North Korea? We Three Kims"

"If I had a daughter I wouldn't waste money on training bras, I'd trap wild bras and train them myself like our ancestors did."

"What do Apple and The Titanic have in common? They both lost the Jack."

"If you do not say it, they can't repeat it."

"I was with my mom today when some guy backed into our car. I joked with my mom ""That guy's pull out game is weak."" My mom replied ""Not as weak as your dad's."""

"The Pope is hardly the first person to lose interest in their real job so soon after joining Twitter."

"How many feminist does it take to screw in a light bulb? THAT'S NOT FUNNY"

"Wild horses could definitely drag me away. Tame horses could too. A slightly muscular hamster probably could drag me away at this point."