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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich? I don't fuck a sandwich before I eat it."

"Every religion has violent people... ... The Christians have The Westboro Baptist Church, the Muslims have the jihadists, and the Jews have the IRS"

"What do Chefs and Murderers have in common? The best ones clean up after themselves"

"Trump took a dump. He pumped. He jumped. Thump Thump. Whump!"

"I tripped over some stupid plant so I gave it the finger and walked in a circle around it because I wasn't sure where its stupid eyes were."

"Damn girl, are you bubble wrap? Because you're fun to run over with my bike"

"Did you hear about the guy who ate glass? It was pretty clear how he died."

"Did you know the person who created Knock Knock jokes won a nobel peace prize?"

"Vicar: The bride and groom have written their own vows. *Everyone lets out a huge groan as Tolstoy reaches into his suit pocket*"

"I wish my car's navigation could take human form so I can punch it in the face."