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Joke of the Day

"Vicar: The bride and groom have written their own vows. *Everyone lets out a huge groan as Tolstoy reaches into his suit pocket*"

"We don't thank them enough for it, but it was really cool that the Black Eyed Peas realized what they were doing was wrong and stopped."

"What's a masturbator's favorite type of weather? Jack-it weather!"

"Australians don't have sex. They mate."

"Lying on the hammock while my wife does yard work. Don't know exactly what she's planting but the hole she dug is slightly bigger than me."

"Why is the mailman bad at sex? His package cums too quickly"

"Why do school nurses bring a red crayon to work? So they can draw blood"

"What is the hardest part about bring a pedophile Fitting in btw meant being not bring"

"Hey guys, I just lost my virginity yesterday! What's the worst thing you've ever done to a dead body?"

"Life tip: If you're curious if you've gotten fat, have a kid draw your picture."