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Joke of the Day

"She was two thirds married once. What do you mean ? Well she turned up the Minster turned up but the groom didn't !"

"What do you call a black woman with 8 abortions? A crime fighter."

"Nothing is certain but death and iTunes updates."

"The ugly tree Geeze, that's an ugly christmas tree but why do you keep it in the bathroom? That's where I store my toiletries."

"I like my scotch like I like my women 12 years old and ice cold."

"I became a banker. Then I lost interest."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Friend 1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Friend 2: To get to the idiot's house. Friend 1: Knock knock Friend 2: Who's there? Friend 1: The chicken"

"What did the mortician say to the corpse? We're gonna need more lube."

"The Indian National Army has anti-gay laws... They call it the law of Don't Ask, Don't Patel."

"My daughter has gotten to the age where she asks me embarrassing questions about sex... Just this morning she asked me ""Is that the best you can do?"""