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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the guy who ate glass? It was pretty clear how he died."
Next Joke
"The widow ask the doctor ""Why did my husband die?"" Doctor responds: ""Heavy drug use, ma'am"" Widow: ""But doctor, my husband didn't use drugs!"" Doctor: ""I know, but I did"""
"I would walk barefoot over hot koalas for you."
"When is a pedofiles favorite part of a hockey game? Before first period"
"Just saw a car with a license plate that says FLSH ME. Ok, douche. What are you, a dead goldfish? Flush yourself."
"Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off..."
"I was going to commit seppuku the other day. But I didn't have the guts to go through with it."
"Officially committed to Princeton University class of 2019 majoring in women's studies with a concentration in culinary arts"
"Knock, Knock! Who's There? Alzheimer's! Alzheimer's who? Knock, Knock!"
"Every 7 seconds someone in the world dies. Every 6 seconds, a white girl uploads a Pumpkin Spice latte pic on Instagram."