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Joke of the Day

"I wondered what my parents did to kill boredom before the internet. I mean, I asked my 26 brothers and sisters and none of them had a clue."

"What would a woodchuck do if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Go chuck itself of course."

"The doctor said I have Type A blood But it was a Type O"

"I keep hearing about kids accidentally dying from trying to get an asphyxiation high. What happened to drugs, kids?! We still have drugs!"

"I think my dog goes out at night to drink with her doggie friends. At least she can't drive because that would be ridiculous."

"SON: How are monster trucks made? ME: Son, when a monster and a truck love each oth- GF: [glares] ME: He's old enough for the facts, Jane"

"What's long and hard and full of seamen? The tube sock under my bed."

"Doctor doctor I keep trying to get into fights. And how long have you had this complaint? Who wants to know?"

"I like my women like I like my peanut butter... ...brown, smooth, and easy to spread. Props to Shakes the Clown."

"Can someone please explain this joke to me? How do you get the elephant out of the theatre? You can't. It's in his blood."