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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a sexually repressed bandit? Rubbin' Hood"

"my favorite perfume is really expensive so I keep buying the same issue of Vogue and rubbing the sample on me"

"Penguins can't fly. Sometimes I get bummed out thinking about that. But then I remember I don't have to clean penguin shit off my car."

"I've got a Turkish friend. She's not hot or cold. Shawarma."

"Where did Napoleon keep his armies? IN HIS SLEEVIES! Best used with little kids, or followed by maniacal laughter."

"It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens."

"Church: Follow Jesus. Me: Does he follow back? Church: .. Me: .. Church: .. Me: Shoutout for shoutout??"

"Reddit, you are just like my dad... No matter what I do, it will never be good enough for you."

"Why did the chicken cross the road To get to the other side ( )"

"What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before? A key."