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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a sexually repressed bandit? Rubbin' Hood"

"She thinks I drink all day when she's at work. I don't... I stop just before she gets home"

"What is rhubarb? Celery with high blood pressure."

"SuperMan, A Nice American and A fat American were having a race, who won ? the fat American, because the other 2 are fictional characters"

"Why couldn't the scientist find salt for his breakfast? Because it was Na HA! Get it? Because Na=sodium and N/A=not available. Seriously, this is good clean fun."

"The recipe said ""Set the oven to 180 degrees,"" so I did, but now I can't open it because the door faces the wall."

"Finally watched an episode of America's Got Talent and I disagree."

"""sure was nice of me to give that homeless guy $5 this morning"" [sees Steve Bannon on TV holding a Starbucks] ""son of a..."""

"I may not be the best looking, wittiest, smartest or even the most successful person. I forget where I was going with this..."

"Why do wallets make so much noise? Because money talks."