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Joke of the Day

"my favorite perfume is really expensive so I keep buying the same issue of Vogue and rubbing the sample on me"

"What was the working title for 10 Cloverfield Lane? ""You're not wrong, Walter, you're just an asshole."""

"IT Jokes 3 Database SQL walked into a NoSQL bar. A little while later, they walked out... Because they couldn't find a table."

"What's the worst thing about eating vegetables? The wheelchair"

"[to snake at news station] you can't do weather anymore ""ssswhy not?"" are we getting rain tomorrow? ""sssno"" do you see how that's confusing?"

"What's the difference between a wife and a dog? The later you get home, the happier one is to see you"

"We shouldn't send our trash into space, that's how you get space raccoons"

"How do you kill a poet? Give them real self confidence."

"Did you hear about the stationary store? It moved."

"How do farmers party? They *turnip* the *beets*. :/"