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Joke of the Day

"RT if u ever stare at a computer screen for so many hours that ur body ceases to exist and u live entirely within a virtual reality"

"What do you call an erection you get at a funeral? Mourning wood"

"I was walking home and saw some drunk guy trying to steal someones gate... I was gonna say something, but I din't want him to take a fence."

"What doesn't belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob? Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs, or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob."

"A guy walks into a bar... And says ""ouch."""

"What's the difference between eugenics and a charity marathon? The second one's a race for the cure. Shamelessely stolen from [yesterday's SMBC](http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=3180)."

"How are women like condoms? They spend 99% of their time in your wallet, and the other 1% on your dick."

"I told my comrades that the commissar is an idiot. I got 31 years gulag... 1 year for insulting a political officer, 30 years for revealing a state secret"

"A girl gets fired from her job with a Vegas outcall massage service Seems she rubbed too many guys the wrong way."

"How much lube do you need for anal? A buttload."