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Joke of the Day

"I tried to make a few jokes about french people they were all really rude so I didn't bother"

"Haha, murder? No officer, I just wanted to see what would happen if I planted a human"

"How does a woman know she's sleeping with a forklift driver? He beeps twice before coming through the flaps."

"*i get on a rollercoaster with my washing machine* ""Hold tight son...WAIT! If u are here then.."" *son is at home w/ a mouth full of laundry*"

"What do you call a conversation about weed? A diskushion."

"[First Date] Him: Great dress. Me: Oh, this? *flips hair* *twirls* *skirt flares* *foot catches* *face plants* Him: Me: Hey! Come back!"

"Where did the bull carry his stock-market report? In his beef case!"

"How does a viola greet a relative? Cello!"

"Why can't the T-Rex play the piano? Cause they're dead!"

"Felons would be a really valuable voting base... After all, we know they have conviction."