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Joke of the Day

"I finally found a girlfriend! She was lost untill she found me. I'm glad I could give her a ride to her boyfriend's house."

"Did you hear about the christian rapper who went missing? He never did turn up."

"What's cold and scary?! I-scream!"

"Me: do you want to hear what happened to the last guy who threatened me? Bumper cars operator: i meant your time is up, like for the ride"

"Guess who I bumped into today at the opticians? Everyone."

"No YOU tried to pet the albino skunk that wandered up from the woods. Related: Never go outside w/out contacts and YES I need a shower."

"What's the difference between marriage and identity theft? At least with identity theft you know you're getting fucked."

"What's a man's definition of a romantic evening? Sex."

"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshiped as gods. Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this."

"What's the easiest way to twist someone's arm? Thalidomide"