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Joke of the Day

"No YOU tried to pet the albino skunk that wandered up from the woods. Related: Never go outside w/out contacts and YES I need a shower."

"Having sex in a elevator is... wrong on so many levels"

"A kid asks, ""Mommy, how come I'm black and you're white?"" The mom replies, ""Listen, the way I remember that party you're lucky you don't bark."""

"Why can't a bicycle stand on its own? It's too tired!"

"Why couldn't the alcoholic become a lawyer? He just couldn't pass the bar."

"Did you hear about the blind man who took a hammer and saw?"

"What do you call a 7 year old redneck girl who can run faster than her brothers? A virgin."

"When is the worst time to get Cancer? North of the equator."

"My girlfriend left me because she couldn't handle my OCD. I told her to close the door five times on her way out."

"My financial advisor told me that I could catch up on my bills if I stopped buying so much pizza. We laughed and laughed. Then I fired him."