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Joke of the Day

"I told my wife I was going to start collecting rare watches... She wondered how I would find the time."

"If you screwed up something in a science lab, who do you tell? **Not** Neil deGrasse cause he will grass on you!"

"What brand of computer is best at singing? A Dell"

"Having anal sex in the splits... A hole body stretch."

"I spent the night on a 4th dimensional alien ship. Surprisingly the surroundings were very familiar. Except in the bathroom they had a glory cube."

"The worst thing about wearing a turtleneck is not being able to get up off of your back if you fall over."

"Did you hear about the lawyer who ate gold? He passed the bar"

"What do you call a ghost who only haunts the Town Hall? The nightmayor."

"What did the Mexican say when the house fell on him? Get off me holmes"

"What's the most played song at Amish parties? Churn Down For What"