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Joke of the Day

"How can you tell when a wine connoisseur is happy? They have a semillon!"

"Heinz have altered one of their spicier sauces. It's a remustard version."

"Not in a hurry - Alcoholism Is A Slow Death! - And we are not in a hurry!"

"Why don't you see any slow black people? Because the slow ones are in prison."

"A bot walks into a sub and orders a rum and coke... [Removed]"

"Nobody told jokes in the USSR... Because in Soviet Russia, jokes tell you."

"If I were a superhero, I'd be Pizza Man. My one-liners would be cheesy, and I'd save you in 30 min or less, or your next criminal is free."

"""I'm not really supposed to do this,"" says the Verizon employee, showing you the setting on your phone that unbinds love from sorrow."

"What does Paul Inces mum make for Christmas? Ince pies!"

"What doesn't kill you was only practicing."