92087

Joke of the Day

"Interviewer: I don't see a phone # for your reference Me: he is a duck I feed bread to at the park you will have to speak to him directly"

"I think the most profound advice my father ever told me was... ""Stop using me in your bullshit stories."""

"How cute would it be if park rangers had tiny handcuffs for raccoons that steal campers' food?"

"Why did so many people show up to see the cannibal get cremated? His family advertised it as a barbecue."

"Why was the girl stuck in the revolving door for two weeks? cuz she couldn't find the door handle"

"Fish Joke of the Day I want to krill myself."

"Calling your girlfriend dumbledore cz she is the real head master"

"You know that you're not a child anymore when... you fall asleep on the couch and wake up on the couch."

"What's the programmer's favorite drug? A line of code."

"Most of the things I would kill myself over losing didn't even exist 10 years ago."