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Joke of the Day

"Waiter: how were your steak and eggs Me: just okay Waiter: oh no Me: you could say they were Waiter: please no Me: *sips mimosa* meaty yoker"

"A reddit Moderator told me I have to flair my post.... So I replied, ""Well, that's only flair."""

"I don't have a Fitbit. But I have a couple of fat bits."

"Whenever you get mad, just think of a t-rex trying to masturbate."

"Who called it a Spanish teacher instead of an instruction Manuel?"

"BEN CARSON'S WIFE: Are you coming home for dinner BEN CARSON: Go to ben carson dot com and read my plan to come home for dinner"

"What do you call a jazz musician without a girlfriend? Homeless"

"What did the muslim man say when he arrived at his resort in Hawaii? Aloha Snackbar!"

"I hope the meteorite crash in Russia doesn't affect the price of Vodka!"

"An Iraqi official calls all of his 8 Saddam's doubles... He says, i have good news, and bad news. The good is that Saddam is alive, the bad is that he lost an arm."