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Joke of the Day

"An Atheist, a Vegan and a Crossfitter walk into a bar I only know that because they told everyone all about it within 2 minutes... and again..and again."

"Yesterday I held a door open for a clown... I thought it was a nice jester."

"The best late artist of the late 20th century yelvis. I AINT NOTHING BUT A HOUND DOG. CRYING ALL THE TIME."

"How does grandma's chairlift work? It has to do with nanatechnology."

"I told my friend I had HIV... She asked me if I was sure. I told her I was positive."

"Sanders supporters are like... that kid in class that gets Fs and Ds the whole semester and then says ""If I get a 100 on the final I can still get a C"""

"A talking penguin walked into a bar and the bartender said: ""Hey, we have a drink named after you!"" And the penguin responded: ""Why do you have a drink named Bill?"""

"How much is 5Q and 5Q? 10Q. ""You're welcome. """

"Today is national dog day and women's equality day... It's national bitch day. /r/showerthoughts did not appreciate this. Maybe you guys will."

"The Mafia hired me to clean recently I was a maid man"