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Joke of the Day
"What do you call it when one musician abuses another? An act of violins."
Next Joke
"What did the Pharaohs use to keep their babies quiet? Egyptian dummies."
"*lights dim in restaurant* DATE: did it just become sexier in here? ME: I CAN'T SEE MY MENU"
"Have you seen the one about the idiots with bad jokes? Yep, Reddit."
"You know what gives me the shits? The digestive system"
"Father Christmas win a saucepan in a competition. Now thats what you call pot luck !"
"What's the difference between the 2016 presidential debates and a pen of baboons relentlessly fighting over the dead stinking corpse of a sheep? Microphones!"
"I was thinking about how duckling is our word for little ducks... so I canceled my order for steamed dumplings."
"My therapist asked me, ""How would leaving twitter make you feel?"" I replied by asking him, ""How would switching therapists make you feel?"""
"Worst pickup lines I love bad/funny pickup lines, lets see what you guys' got!"