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Joke of the Day

"My sex life is like finding a parking spot in town. All the good ones are taken, so sometimes when no one is looking I have to stick it into disabled one."

"Australia is doing phenomenally on the Olympic medal tally considering our population #1. USA: 318.9 million #2. China: 1.357 billion #3. Japan: 173.3 million #4. Australia: 48 as of last census"

"I think God created marriage so death wouldn't come as such a disappointment."

"My ""I'm enraged!"" status update on Facebook garnered a lot of congratulations from people who don't read well."

"Went by the house where I grew up. Asked to go in to look around, but they said no and shut the door in my face. My parents can be so rude."

"Why do lesbians go to modells? Because they don't like dicks"

"I was going to make a joke about salt ,but then i thought . . . Na"

"Walk into a bar dressed as a bunny rabbit. Punch the first person who says something to you. You're a wild animal."

"Some girls will stop speaking to their friends over the littlest things, but will forgive the same cheating guy a millions times..."

"What is an alcoholic's favorite book? Tequila Mockingbird"