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Joke of the Day

"I spent 20 years traversing across the globe searching for the best mustache... ... Until I realized the best mustache was right under my nose the whole time"

"How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb? Apparently not three because my basement is still dark."

"[x-post from askreddit] Aside from throwing stones, what should a person living in a glass house not do?"

"Say what you want about the Make-a-Wish foundation At least they can work to a deadline"

"How to tell if you suck at football... Hint: You call it soccer."

"How Many Muslim Women Does it Take to Screw In a Light Bulb? Silly, Muslim Women aren't allowed to screw in light bulbs."

"I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me."

"I've always been corny... When I was born, there were three storks. One to deliver me and two to fend off the crows."

"I don't mean to brag about my patience, but I just waited 5 whole seconds before passing a student driver and flicking them off."

"The problem with the French is that they don't have a word for entrepreneur. -George.W.Bush"