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Joke of the Day

"""we lost your dad during surgery im very sorry"" ha, hes always wandering off ""no he.."" *holds up one finger while on phone* dad ring me back"

"Have a jewish friend who likes to make drinks. I have a Jewish friend who likes to make drinks. Hebrews them. Sorry if you expected a Jewish world war 2 joke, but I'm burnt out on those."

"Good thing the silica gel packet that came with my shoes was marked ""DO NOT EAT"". I assume all new shoes come with snacks."

"I don't like generalizations... They all suck."

"What do you call an electro-food? (it's giga-bite!) yeah it was giga bite yeah you're right yeah giga bite that was it giga bite it!!"

"What did one snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?"

"Do you know what an Australian kiss is? It's a French kiss, ......down under!"

"How do call an idiot that has an assault rifle pointed at you? Sir."

"What do you call Q: what do you call a gay goat? A: a Faggoat"

"Knock Knock... Who's there? Dim Sum Dim Sum who? [Spoiler](/s ""Dim Sum big titties"")"