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Joke of the Day

"Him: you watch too much Food Network Me: just enjoy your artisanal bread covered in a delectable berry compote Him: its toast and jelly"

"What do you call a Jewish Pokemon trainer? Ash"

"Why was the army recruiter in the nursery? To find more people for the infantry! I'm sorry."

"What do you call a porn star who only does anal when she's drunk? Mullet. Business in the front and outdated by today's standards in the rear"

"Everyone knows that your eyebrows are drawn on, we just wish you'd make them lightning bolts once in a while."

"I've bought up all the Scrabble games I can get my hands on. I heard there's a lot of money in text tiles."

"What do you call a person who helps teach others to fart? A tooter. (thanks, honey)"

"Write a suicide note on Facebook and they try to talk you out of it. Write a suicide note on Twitter and they correct your grammar."

"Let's make it weird. Dont worry. I'll start."

"What do you call a group of Spaniards in quicksand? Bean dip"