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Joke of the Day
"Why was the army recruiter in the nursery? To find more people for the infantry! I'm sorry."
Next Joke
"I would walk over Lego's for you."
"Scroll Scroll Scroll your phone, gently down the screen. Merilly Merrily Merrily Merrily MY GOD THAT'S OBSCENE!!!!!!!!!"
"What do you get when you mix a joke with a hypothetical question?"
"Talking with your girlfriend is just like software installation EULA you just scroll down waiting for it to finish and agree without understanding what it says"
"Thanks to the internet I know the actual medical terms for all the ailments that I'm positive I'm dying from."
"What do you call a horny guy in a pool? Driftwood"
"Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put in the wrong pair of socks this morning."
"I always get my pizza cut into 4 slices. You'd have to be a fat ass to eat 8 slices."
"If you ever hear me say that I missed you it's only because I have bad aim."