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Joke of the Day

"So the UK Government can now read my internet history... So I guess the only way I'm ever seeing tentacle porn again is if I take a shitload of LSD and watch Spongebob. Cruel world."

"put ur hair in a man-bun. now put ur beard in a man-bun too. congratulations ur now a hamburger. be free, hamburger man."

"What's the difference between Bill Clinton and a convicted serial sex offender? Convicted"

"I just got fired for putting my penis in the pickle slicer at the restaurant where I work She only got docked a week's pay"

"Oh the Irony.... My predictive text doesn't know how to spell Nostradamus."

"Love is like a machine... sometimes you need a good screw to fix it."

"What kind of dog did the sad cantaloupe get? A melon collie!"

"Why do baby clothes have pockets? I've never heard a baby say: ""cigarettes,phone and keys alright let's go"""

"STOP PUTTING SIRENS IN MUSIC FOR PETE'S SAKE! I let my hair down & undid two buttons before i realized i wasn't getting pulled over!"

"They dont just hate him Chris' family doesn't just hate him, they ate him too"