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Joke of the Day

"I like my men like I like my grapes. Me:- I like my men like I like my grapes Friend:- Big and black? Me:- no, 16 at a time."

"An atheist, a vegan, a libertarian, and a BMW owner walk into a bar... I only know because they told everyone in the bar within 2 minutes."

"Why do pagans make the best husbands and wives? Because they'll worship the ground you walk on."

"I just dropped my phone in the toilet and for a second I stood over it and thought, ""That's where it belongs."""

"There were many docks along the seashore, but one of them couldn't handle itself and collapsed. Why? Pier pressure!"

"Someone hit me in the head with a bottle of omega 3 tablets the other day. It's OK, it was just a super fish oil wound"

"Wanna hear a joke? The WNBA."

"Shaq just described himself as a geek. The word has officially lost all meaning,"

"(Trump rally) Trump: I'll take questions now. Reporter: How will you fix California's drought? Trump: More water. Crowd: *cheers wildly*"

"Why do nymphomaniacs like submarines? Because they're long, hard and full of seamen."