106002

Joke of the Day

"I like my whisky like I like my women. Left in an oak barrel for at least 3 years, with very little oxygen"

"I made it halfway to Mexico before I realized that those sirens were just coming from the song on my radio."

"Hotel California is basically a negative Yelp review with a two minute guitar solo."

"Why did the punk cross the road? He was safety-pinned to the chicken."

"A man walks up to a girl smoking in a bar. He ask if she knows of sudden infant death syndrome. She replies 'wut'... He says 'cause smoking kills, baby'"

"Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't like things as much as I do."

"""F,DT I am."" - Yoda texting a girl that he's DTF"

"cindy and president cindy to his friend"" me and the president of the country are equal"" ""how?""his friend asked ""look i dont go his home and he dont come my home"" cindy replied"

"Why aren't cowboys circumcised? So they have somewhere to put their dip at lunch."

"If ball is life, where is the afterlife? Ballhalla"