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Joke of the Day

"WIFE: I think he's in a midlife crisis ""Why, did he buy a new car?"" WIFE: not yet [I pull up on a sleigh pulled by roughly 1000 raccoons]"

"The shortest joke in the world 'Dwarf Shortages'"

"Dear Week, I'm so over you. I'm leaving you for your best friend, Weekend. Don't try to find us for at least 2 days."

"Why is a giraffes neck so long? Because its head it so far away from its body"

"If a vegan does crossfit which do they talk about first?"

"Why was the Scotsman buried on the hill? He died."

"What's the difference between peanut butter and jam. You can't peanut butter your dick into someone's ass."

"Where's the school for the blind? ... It's hard to see."

"What did Waldo say at the Superbowl? I'm just here so I won't get find."

"WHAT OTHER ILLNESSES DO I HAVE?! I told my doctor I think I'm a hypochondriac. As usual, the medicine he gave me isn't working."