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Joke of the Day

"WIFE: I think he's in a midlife crisis ""Why, did he buy a new car?"" WIFE: not yet [I pull up on a sleigh pulled by roughly 1000 raccoons]"

"Why do you not run over a Mexican on a bicycle? It could be your bicycle!"

"Two goldfish were in their tank... Two goldfish were in their tank. One turned to the other and said, ""You man the guns; I'll drive."""

"- What do we want? - A cure for ADD! - When do we want it? - Ducks. I liked a movie. I'm hungry."

"Hillary's doctor tells her she has the heart of a 20 year old And now he wants her to give it back to whoever she carved it out of their chest."

"A crossfitter, a vegan, an atheist, and a Redditor who always exposes reposts are all sitting at a bar... and I know this because they won't shut up about it."

"I was born on 09.11.2001 and I suffer of autism Cause: The stork crashed and I'v hit my head"

"What did the man say to the giant squid? What's kraken? JAJAJAJAJJAJJAJA"

"Have you heard my joke about construction? I'm still working on it"

"Did you hear about the coroner who always was early for his shift? He could not wait to get to work and crack open a cold one."