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Joke of the Day

"""Mr. Trump how will you beat Hillary Clinton?"" TRUMP: I'll win NY, Florida, Ohio, we're going to add states, Gerzona, Timbaland, Waterworld"

"Don't believe people who say they are constipated. They're full of shit."

"What did the hamburger say when it found out that most people liked hamburgers better than frankfurters? 'Hot dog!'"

"""Dad, can I go to the renaissance festival?"" ME: No, you're still grounded ""No fair!"" ME: Yes, that's what I said"

"Did you hear about the stallion and the mare? They had a stable relationship."

"I wonder what the bees inside Wilma Flintstone's vibrator talked about: ""Another fight with Fred? Looks like we're working overtime again."""

"Girl you are like a fine oriental rug... ...you'd look great on hardwood."

"What do you call a gay assassin? Ass ass in"

"(from my 8 year old) What do you call a Mexican chicken giving directions? Arrows con Pollo"

"My coffee tastes like the dishwasher. Makes me wonder how Carl's doing and if he still has that same distinct flavor."