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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a bar... ""A man walks into a bar and the bartender says""... ...""Stop speaking in third person Jaqen"""

"Men at 25 plays football. Men at 40 plays tennis. Men at 60 plays golf. Have you noticed that as you get older your balls get smaller ?"

"How do you summon a wizard taxi? CABRACADABRA!"

"Popsicle sticks are depressing."

"Cigarettes are a lot like hamsters, Perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and set it on fire."

"Two toasters are sitting on a counter. One toaster turns to the other and says, ""Do you sometimes feel empty?"" To which the other toaster replies, ""OH MY GOD! A talking toaster!"""

"Worrying does you no good. Or does it? What if it does? Can anyone confirm this? Maybe email me in case I have bad reception?!"

"How do you know when you have a high sperm count? Your partner has to chew before swallowing..."

"Keep slugs out of your garden by building a tiny slug-sized amusement park next to it with slow safe rides."

"Making popcorn for these Facebook movies."