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Joke of the Day

"what do you call a young, green Pumpkin for Halloween? A premature e-Jack-O'-Lantern."

"Been watching Sharknado. When did Tara Reid turn 60??"

"My Twitter account would benefit from a breathalyzer-activated password."

"I want a family beach vacation. Hubby wants a family ski vacation. Hubby showing kids video of tsunamis. But 2 can play. Avalanche anyone?"

"My New Year's resolution is *removes sunglasses* 2048x1080. I'll explain. *perches on desk* You see, the word 'resolution' can also refer t"

"There are 10 types of people in this world... 1. Those who understand ternary. 2. Those who don't. 10 . Those who expected the binary gag."

"How many guys in the friendzone does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just stand around and compliment it, and then get pissed when it won't screw"

"Have you heard about the Italian chef that recently died? Yeah, he pasta way."

"Did you hear? Sting has been kidnapped! The Police don't have a lead."

"Have you ever accidentally ended a business call with ""I love you?"" Oh yeah me neither."