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Joke of the Day

"Trump got a sandwich named after him at his favorite deli. Commander in Cheese Meltdown. They put it on the kid's menu."

"To celebrate Independence Day I'm finding Englishmen and then walking angrily away from them!"

"How did the shattering glass get everyone's attention? ""Let me be loud and clear!"""

"- much ado about nothing - 2 much 2 nothing - much ado 3: toyko drift - much nothing - much 5 - much ado 6 - nothing 7"

"I know I'm supposed to be outraged about this whole NSA phone tapping scandal, but I've got to admit, its a little refreshing that after a decade of marriage, someone is finally listening to me."

"Why did Germany win so many battles in WW I? They had baron."

"I once installed a sky light in my apartment. Boy were my upstairs neighbors pissed."

"I hate how much time my kids spend staring at their iPads. I wish they'd look up once in a while & pay attention to me staring at my iPhone."

"A husband finds his wife in bed with three men. He says, ""Well, hello, hello, hello! His wife says, ""Aren't you going to say hello to me?"""

"What do you get if you cross an elephant with the abominable snowman? A jumbo yeti."