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Joke of the Day

"Before I get busy doing nothing, I am taking a 20 minute break."

"Where did the King keep his armies? In his sleevies!"

"What is a vampires least favorite food? Steak! ...I'll see myself out now."

"What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are about $1.79, and deer nuts are right under a buck."

"If I were a Greek philosopher, my name would be Mediocrites."

"Why was the Mexican bad at archery? He didn't habanero"

"I always thought soy milk... was just introducing itself in Spanish"

"Why did Bill Gates & Warren Buffett once have me quickly kicked out of a game of bridge? When it was my turn to bid I kept saying, ""Go fish""."

"What has a mouth but never speaks, Has a bed but never sleeps, And has legs but never walks? &nbsp; A mute, crippled insomniac"

"My wife's a magician. She can turn anything into an argument."