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Joke of the Day

"Why did Bill Gates & Warren Buffett once have me quickly kicked out of a game of bridge? When it was my turn to bid I kept saying, ""Go fish""."

"Whats the difference between a lawyer and a teenage boy? One is a master debater. The other is a masterbater."

"Have you heard of Bill Cosby's new T.V. show? It's called, ""Women say the Dardest things."" He denies rape charges for thirty minutes."

"My son fell asleep on a lego. He is in critical condition and will be getting surgery this morning. He is currently on morphine and has had several seizures."

"The New Men's Birth Control Pill It's about the size of a marble. You put it into your shoe. It makes you limp."

"When Chris Angle levitated in front of Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris just laughed and flew away."

"Today I officially hit the ""I guess these shrank in the dryer"" phase of my weight gain denial."

"I always keep at least 6 wigs in my trunk for trips to the grocery store so I can keep going back for samples"

"Did you hear about the household appliance that eats ants and records TV shows? It's the VCRdvard"

"Did you hear about the Nuns up north who started a marijuana dispensary? Holy smokes..."